...he's on his way

I guess with Christmas nearly upon us, it has caused me to look back and reflect on last years' Christmas season. Nathan took three weeks leave to come and spend with Ariana and I before he deployed. We were just at the beginning of our love for one another and Christmas Eve was a very sparkly night indeed, as he placed a ring on my finger and asked me to be his for keeps. So often, I am just amazed at how God brought the two of us together and how quickly He grew our love.

As most of you know, the road God asked me to travel during my pregnancy and Ariana's early days was not easy. In fact, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I learned so much about myself but also about HIM. His unfailing love never left me and through it all my faith never left- I KNEW that even though I didn't understand- He is good and He has good plans for me. Little did I know that through the pain, heartache, feelings of abandonment and grief, God was preparing me to meet the man of my dreams. I remember being so nervous as Nathan and I met for the first time... so self conscious and awkward... I sloshed my drink all over myself, left the keys in the trunk lock while we were at the mall ( I was so relieved no one drove off with the car!), forgot to put on lip gloss, ran late, wore socks that didn't match my outfit... and yet- he saw me, right to the very core of me, and loved me.

Nathan has been there for me, through my confusion, as I had to make the choice of where I wanted to be and who I wanted to be with. He has patiently held me and offered me the security I was longing for. He wiped tears from my face and never grew tired of telling me "I love you" when I questioned if he was really sure that he did. He has loved me in a way that has erased all my fears, insecurities and questions. His patience has been untiring, as I reached new levels of healing from all that took place before he was in the picture. He adopted Ariana in his heart, as his own, very early on in our relationship. He has taken the initiative to legally adopt her as well, sharing his name with her- just as many years ago, that name was shared with him by two, wonderful people.

Through this deployment, he has been the ever faithful husband and daddy. His love, in spite the fact of being halfway around the world, has been the warm blanket that has held Ariana and I. Its presence has always been felt, its reality, never questioned. His presence has been missed greatly and there have been times that I have just ached for his arms to hold me. But I've made it through this year with his support, encouragement and listening ear that was always just a phone call or IM chat away.

He is strong, passionate, gentle, loving, kind, dependable- yet surprising. He's funny, charming, down to earth and reliable. He's all I have dreamed of and just what I have always needed.

This is my husband.

This is the man I love.

This is my Nathan and he is on his way home.